Hidden Conversations: Why Your Client's Hands Tell Better Stories Than Their Words
Hey Future Looper,
I've got to tell you about this fascinating thing I've been studying - you know how sometimes you can tell exactly what someone's thinking just by watching their hands?
It's wild.
The other day I was watching this client, Jennifer (names changed of course!) who kept pushing away invisible things in front of her every time she talked about her boss.
She didn't even realize she was doing it!
So here's what I've learned about these silent conversations our bodies are having...
The Secret Language of Space and Movement
You know how sometimes you just know someone's uncomfortable even before they say anything?
It's all about these little tells - I like to call them "nonverbal loops."
Think of them like a secret code your body uses when your mouth is saying something totally different.
The Space Detective's Handbook
(Yeah, I just made that up, but stick with me!)
First up - watch how people use the space around them.
It's like they're building invisible maps in the air! They'll put their "problems" in one spot and their "solutions" in another.
I had this one client who kept reaching up and to the left every time she talked about her goals - turned out that's where she "stored" all her future dreams!
Here are the dead giveaways to watch for:
Their hands doing that "talking without talking" thing
Where they point when they're remembering stuff
How they organize their invisible timeline (some people lay it out left to right, others front to back!)
The Body's Hidden Morse Code
And then there's all these tiny physical signals - like your body's own version of emoji:
Flutter-y eyelids (like they're trying not to fall asleep but totally aren't sleepy)
Breathing changes (the big sigh is always a good one!)
Random muscle twitches
That thing where their face goes all slack like they're daydreaming
Want to know the really cool part? Once you spot these patterns, you can actually work with them!
Like when someone's literally pushing their problems away in the air, you can ask "What happens if we move that over here instead?"
Their mind follows where their hands go - neat, right?
The Golden Rules
Here's what I've learned works best:
Just watch. Like, really watch. Put down your phone, forget taking notes, just observe.
Do that subtle mirroring thing (but don't make it weird - no one likes a copycat!)
Give them space to process (silence is your friend!)
Use their exact gestures when you reference something (if they point up and left, you point up and left)
The crazy thing is, people are having these nonverbal conversations ALL THE TIME and most of us miss them completely. It's like there's this whole other language happening right in front of us!
Next time you're having coffee with someone, try playing "spatial detective" - just watch their hands while they talk and see what patterns you notice. I bet you'll start seeing these invisible maps everywhere!
Let me know what you discover - I'd love to hear what secret gestures you catch people making!
Chat soon,
Timothy
P.S. Just don't stare too obviously - apparently people find that creepy. Who knew? 😉
Did this guide to nonverbal loops help you at all? I'd love to hear it! Email me at: [email protected]
Want to learn more about Enter the Loop?: https://entertheloop.com
