Beyond the Signs: How to Dance With Unconscious Signals (Without Stepping on Any Toes)
Hey Future Looper!
Remember last time when we talked about spotting those unconscious signals?
Today, we're going to dive into what to actually do when you see them.
(And no, the answer isn't "immediately tell everyone about their unconscious signals." Trust me on this one...)
The Golden Rule of Response
Here's something I learned the hard way: the moment you see an unconscious signal, your first instinct is probably wrong.
Why? Because most of us immediately want to:
Point it out ("I noticed you did this thing...")
Fix it ("Here's what you should do...")
Analyze it ("That clearly means...")
Sound familiar?
The Art of the Dance
Instead, think of unconscious signals like an invitation to dance.
When someone starts showing these signals, they're essentially saying, "There's more to this story..."
Your job isn't to grab the dance floor and show off your moves.
It's to be curious about theirs.
The Magic Question
Want to know the most powerful response to any unconscious signal?
Silence.
(I know, I know – not what you expected, right?)
But here's the thing: when you see someone's speech slow down, or notice them staring off into space, or catch that subtle shift in their breathing – they're processing something important.
And if you jump in too quick, you're basically interrupting their unconscious mind mid-sentence.
The Three-Step Response
When you spot these signals, here's what to do:
Notice - Mentally bookmark what you're seeing
Wait - Give them space to process
Wonder - Get genuinely curious about what's happening
Let me show you what this looks like in practice.
A Real-World Example
Last week, I was working with a client who said they were "totally fine" with their new job.
But as they said it, their hand made this subtle pushing away motion.
Old me would have jumped in with: "I noticed you pushed away when you said that..."
Instead, I stayed quiet and got curious.
A few moments later, they added: "I mean, it's fine... it's just not what I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life."
BOOM.
There it was – the real story, emerging naturally because I gave it space to surface.
The Power of Precision
Here's another trick: when you do speak, use their exact words.
If they say: "I just feel stuck in this weird space..."
Don't say: "So you're feeling trapped?"
Instead say: "Tell me more about this weird space..."
(The difference might seem subtle, but to the unconscious mind, it's huge.)
When to Break the Rules
Now, there are times when you might want to directly address what you're seeing.
But – and this is crucial – only after you've built strong rapport.
Think of it like this: you wouldn't walk up to a stranger and start copying their dance moves.
But with a good friend? That's different.
The Biggest Mistake to Avoid
Whatever you do, don't fall into the "interpretation trap."
Just because someone crosses their arms doesn't automatically mean they're defensive.
Just because they look up doesn't mean they're "accessing visual memory."
These signals are invitations to explore, not definitive answers.
Making It Natural
The best responses to unconscious signals don't feel like responses at all.
They feel like natural curiosity.
Instead of: "I noticed you looked away when you said that..."
Try: "What else comes to mind about that?"
Practice Makes Progress
Want to get better at this? Here's a fun exercise:
Next time you're in a conversation, pretend you're watching it in slow motion.
Notice the tiny moments between the words.
That's where the real conversation is happening.
What's Next?
In our next post, we're going to talk about something really exciting: how to use these skills to create breakthrough moments.
Because once you know how to spot and respond to unconscious signals, you can start leading the dance in a whole new way.
But for now, try giving more space in your conversations.
You might be amazed at what emerges when you're not rushing to fill the silence.
See you in the loop!
What's your experience with responding to unconscious signals? Have you ever had a moment where staying quiet led to a breakthrough? Drop me a line at [email protected].
Ready to learn more about Enter the Loop? Let's chat about how Enter the Loop can amplify your specific practice.
(And yes, that unconscious head nod you just did counts as sharing... but maybe leave a comment anyway? 😉)
